Pastor and Church Leader...

The heartbeat of your church is what will accept this ministry or reject this ministry. The main question here is..."Would God accept this ministry in your church?" since He emphatically stated, "I hate divorce!!"

Herein, lies the debate of this question. To Catholics, I would ask, "Is it wrong for the church to help others as Jesus healed the broken-hearted?" To Protestants, I would ask, "Do you detest sin so much, that you will not allow the sinner (a divorcee) to be ministered to by the church?" And to the Charismatic, "Will the church shun such an individual from the church because he or she is a divorcee?" There are men and women out there who have left the church not because of their divorce, but because they did not have the support of their church when they went through a divorce. A divorce is a terrible and cruel thing to go through. But, it's very easy for a church to believe that all people who end up divorced are sinners and they are not worthy of serving at a church again...at least those are the feelings of many people who have once been loved in the church and who have once served in a church. Has your church lost the heartbeat of the ministry of Jesus Christ? Wasn't it Jesus who sacrificed his own life for my sins and yours...and then the church takes it upon itself to shake their finger to the person who is dying inside because their spouse rejected them in some form or fashion, and the church makes them feel like they are the "sinner"? Is it because you have never been through a divorce and you just don't want to deal with it? You are ignoring 50% of your congregation if you believe that.  Does it not say in His Word that the Church is to be the Bride of Christ - his helpmeet in every way...to heal the broken-hearted and set the captive free? Have we forgotten the very essence of what Jesus' ministry is all about?

Let's look at the reason why God said, in Malachi 2:16..."I hate divorce!" Just what was God saying? He certainly was not saying that he hates the spouses of the marriage...so should the church hate the spouses who come to them for suppport and understanding? Should they be turned away or be met with a silent smile? He was saying that one spouse has dealt treacherously with the other spouse...specifically, he was saying this to husbands of a covenant marriage. Divorce in any marriage does not happen over night, but to "deal treacherously" is to treat the other spouse with malicious lies, deplorable behavior, and unconscionable betrayal and abandonment. That is the poison of a divorce. So, let's put this in practical terms. "I never loved you!" is a bold face lie or the spouse's life has been a complete lie from day one. The consistent act of physical, emotional, or even mental abuse to "maintain control" is deplorable behavior in the sight of God. And then, last, but not least, the unconscionable betrayal is like having the air sucked out of you while you are in freefall from a helium balloon. It is the rejection of the treacherous spouse who commits the act of adultery ripping their marriage to shreds...sometimes to it's physical death for one spouse.

Mind you, I never said the "leaving spouse", but the one who has dealt treacherously with his/her spouse. The one filing for divorce may be the one who must remove themselves from the marriage to save their own lives. The one leaving the marriage may be the one who longs to have her husband back, but he has since found another. Divorce is clearly a result of sin, but one must not jump to conclusions as to labeling a divorcee as the "unforgiveable spouse". Who are you to judge in the first place?  The recipient spouse of malicious lies, or the deplorable behavior, or the unconscionable betrayal is bleeding from the heart and MUST HAVE THE SUPPORT OF THE CHURCH!! That's why God hates divorce...because of the horrible ways families are treated by the treacherous spouse. These kinds of behaviors leave the family devastated to the point that the children go off on their own ungodly ways, suffering of the family is at stake financially, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally...and then their churches turn their backs on them because the church want nothing to do with sinners??????? So, I ask the church... "Just what is the purpose of the church when there is clearly this kind of suffering going on in homes of you own community...and of your own church?" Do you not feel the compassion that Jesus gave to people who were hurting deeply? Where is the heartbeat of your church? Is it in the fellowship? Is it in the music? Is is in the sermons? Is it in your classes? Is it towards those who are suffering?      

And so, I conclude with asking the first question I asked above, "Would God allow this kind of ministry in the church?" And the answer is an irrevocable "YES!!" God is not interested in our penance, but in our obedience. God is not interested in our money, but in our heart. God is not interested in our works, but in the people of those works. And God wants your church's heartbeat to weep when a marriage is shattered into a million pieces, when the one who is left behind remains aimlessly, and listlessly heartbroken, with their lives turned upside down. You can be that listening ear, you can be that helping hand, you can be that balm of healing for them. They have been rejected and spat upon enough...it's time the church begins to embrace those who have suffered this kind of treachery from their own spouses!